How to treat a woman
Fina Bella
"We Can Do It ........... Together"
"Nous Pouvons Le Faire ........ Ensemble"
"We Can Do It ........... Together"
"Nous Pouvons Le Faire ........ Ensemble"
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing”
-Helen Keller
“Life Is A Journey, Not A Destination"
A male perspective on how to treat a woman
Working with the Fina Bella Group & in association with
The Fina Bella Corporate Domestic Violence Program
“WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT”?? The question that men have been asking themselves since the beginning of
time, the question women have already known the answer to for the same period of time, and unfortunately to
date, the subject a majority of both sexes have been unable to successfully come together on to find out. Maybe it's
time to start exploring this question and try to address it.
Some reasons why a woman doesn't always need a man:
For financial reasons: Most women are working today and are usually well educated and monetarily self
sufficient. The same applies to a career and promotions.
To have or bring up a child: A woman can choose to adopt, be artificially inseminated, choose a man to
father her child and then have him renounce any legal rights to the child if she wants, or have a surrogate mother
do all the work, and then have the baby given to her.
For any legal considerations: In most first world countries, women are considered “persons” and usually
have the same legal rights as men.
For sex: Most women prefer being with a man who knows what he is doing, is passionate and can give her pure
sensual stimulation. However, most also own toys and can easily get by “dating Bob”, (Battery Operated Boyfriend)
for awhile and who will out perform most men in the bedroom anyhow. Bob does have some limitations. But what he
lacks in emotion, verbal communications, etc, he more than makes up for in staying power and his ability to
endlessly please, unless his batteries die.
To be socially accepted: Men are not a prerequisite for women to go out on the town, travel, attend
meetings, vacations, social events, etc. It's also not a top priority for women to get married to be accepted or to be
happy in life.
To be happy and have friends: Women are very social by nature, like to share, are independent, happy and
like to have fun. Gone are the days when a women being dateless on a Friday night, was next to being dead.
Dislikes/frustrations that women have with men:
- Immaturity.
- Ego.
- Too much testosterone and being macho.
- Laziness.
- Procrastination.
- Selective hearing.
- Non attentive.
- Forgetful & doesn't think.
- Emotionally disconnected.
- Stubbornness
- insensitivity.
- Disrespectful.
- Disappointing.
- Jealous.
- Doesn't communicate properly.
- Lack of trust.
- Disloyalty.
- When I hug and kiss you, it doesn't always mean I want sex. Sometimes I just want to cuddle and feel you near to
me. Honey, it would be nice if you would initiate this more often with me. It's frustrating for me that I have to
always be the one to ask.
Reasons why a woman would be attracted to a man:
Todays heterosexual woman's expectations of a relationship with a man have changed dramatically compared to
what her mother accepted in the past. The reasons for a woman to make a long term commitment to a male
partner, with the intention of being happy and making him a keeper, has evolved over the years.
So how does a man get on the “A” list with a woman? Firstly, women like and genuinely enjoy having men around
them. Secondly, and thankfully for men, women are willing to tolerate our inconsistencies and imperfections, but
would be happier to see improvement on the male's part. Now lets try to demystify the dynamics. The following is
not listed in any order of priority:
Trust. Women want to feel at ease and secure with the man they are with. To “love” and be “in love” with someone,
you must first take down your defenses to let the other person into your life and heart. This is always scary and
requires proof of your worthiness.
Honesty. She wants a man who is good to his word and will not do anything that will hurt/disappoint her. Never
lie to her. She will find out anyway and you will disappoint her which can be fatal to the relationship. Honesty to a
woman is very important. Once lost, it's hard to get back. Never fake your love or feelings you have toward her.
Affectionate/romantic/attentive/passionate/loving/faithful/respectful/sense of humor.
Women want a man that is masculine but can acknowledge his feminine side. Who is sensitive enough to connect
with a woman on many levels yet retain his maleness. Each element has a collective and individual importance in
a lasting relationship. She wants to feel wanted and loved. It's important for you to surprise her from time to time
with a gift. It's not the price nor the frequency that is important, but that you cared enough to take the time to
think about her and buy her something that is unexpected, she will appreciate, keep, and that will remind her of
you when she looks at it. Women want affection but not always leading to sex. The same goes for romance. The key
to making it a plus, is to plan ahead to do something unique and exciting for her such as taking her out on an
unplanned date, cook her a meal, clean the bathroom, draw a bath for her, buy her flowers or something else she
doesn't expect. Its important to be attentive and courteous to her. She is special, so never take her for granted. A
woman wants a man to appreciate her body and her mind and to show how proud he is of her accomplishments.
Women want a man that is passionate about life. She wants a man to be positive in what he does, how he views the
world and for what he stands for. When it comes to love, a man should always be verbally expressive in his feelings
toward her and tell her how important she is to him. Being faithful is part of being respectful to her. Never cheat or
do anything that disrespects and will hurt her. Women are attracted to a man with a sense of humor and who can
be naturally funny. So you may not want to take yourself too seriously all the time. Women are realistic but also
optimistic and like life to be a voyage not a destination. She wants to be adventurous and needs someone like you to
help her be that.
Be her best friend. Sometimes a woman just wants to chill out and have fun with a person she likes, can say
anything to and can let her hair down with. She wants to be able to talk about anything and nothing with a
someone she can trust and feel at ease with. Its important that you are that friend. As a best friend, you have an
excellent base for bonding and building all the other levels in a relationship.
Her lover. Making love is a beautiful intimate journey and an adventure that cements two people in a
relationship. A man should remember that it is 99% fun, and only 1% getting there. A woman wants a man who is
not selfish, is loving, caring, gentle, does not rush, understands her mind and body, is romantic, passionate,
sensual, can give a good massage and is attentive to her and her sexuality. He should make sure she always enjoys
the experience. Everything begins within her mind. Women want to feel pure sensual stimulation, to feel
excitement and anticipation that will lead them into heightened emotionally charged experiences. Most
importantly, don't be a magician, be magic, imaginative, tell her how sexy and gorgeous she is, that you love her,
and give her a sense of adventure. You might note that it is quality and not necessarily quantity that counts here.
If your lady is pleased, “Jane will probably ask you to come out to play more often”.
Her big brother. All women want a big brother. Although not a father figure, women look up to a big brother
for various reasons. When they were children, it was for security in the school yard, to ask “bro” about “boy”
questions and when she needed help, the guy she trusted to go to. She still is inquisitive about why men do this or
say that, etc and will ask you questions about it. If she needs help, she will call on you.
Her soul mate. This is when you have become so close, that the man and woman are almost joined at the hip.
You are still able to function on your own, but you have met the person that is so compatible, that it would hurt you
to your soul if you lost them. Unlike most relationships where one partner is more in love than the other, etc. A soul
mate is a balanced relationship that neither one would ever hurt the other because it would be the same as hurting
themselves.
Her confidant. This means that you are very intimate with the lady in your life and she will appreciate you for
it. You are a man that is one of few in the world that has the confidence in himself that she can be herself and tell
you her most secret thoughts (past/present and the good, the bad, and the ugly) to and it won't crush your ego. Not
many men are at this level. She also knows you will never say anything to anyone about what was revealed.
Her father figure and teacher. Females are naturally curious and love to ask questions, discuss and learn.
As a child, if her father was a good parent and was patient and available to her, she would have looked up to him as
the first important man in her life, and viewed him as a male role model to use for certain positive male markers
for her future choice in a partner. She would have posed “millions” of questions, learned from him, been introduced
to how a good man thinks and acts, been told how pretty she is even when sometimes she didn't think so, but
understood that he was speaking globally and also meant from her heart as well as her exterior beauty, would want
to talk with him when she was sad and shared her times of joy with him, been taught to develop self confidence, a
positive self esteem and was told she is intelligent and as smart as any man. Fathers are important in the life and
the healthy development of a little girl growing into an emotionally whole woman. As your partner, if she respects
you and your opinions, she will look to you for advice and ask you questions. This is a compliment you should
appreciate and take seriously. Listen to her, discuss the issue presented and then help her to find the answer. She
is showing great trust and also feels a deep emotional closeness to you.
Her protector. This is a tricky and touchy subject. Generally women are capable of protecting themselves and do
not need or like a man to interfere because it will be understood that she is weak and taken as an insult. However
there are times that she will expect you to step forward and defend her. Sometimes it's very apparent while other
times it's not. A wise man will know when it's time to step up to the line. She wants you to be a man and show that
you put her first and before others. A little bit like the mythical Knight, but without the shining armor and horse.
Her shoulder to cry on. When she is upset, she will expect to be able to share her sadness, discuss this with
you and debate the pros and cons and why she was hurt. She will want someone close who will listen, empathizes
with her and who cares. She will also want to hear your views.
Her ear when she needs to vent. When the world is not as perfect as she would like it, a woman wants a
man she can trust to listen and allow her to vent her fears, frustrations, failures and the injustices done to her.
Will never judge her. She wants a man that is understanding and open to her ideas, discussions, points of
view, thoughts and who will never ridicule her in public or in private because you are both equal partners.
Her cheer leader & supporter. Always encourage her dreams. Dreams are the magic that gets her mental
juices flowing, creates excitement in her life and begins a new voyage for her. She wants to share this with you
because you are important to her, wants your feed back, and to hear you say how proud you are of her. Remember,
no matter how independent and assertive a woman might be, she still has a tiny corner of her brain that has self
doubt. Stand behind her dreams and give her that assurance that she can do anything that she puts her mind to
and that you will always be there to support her choices.
Celebrate her accomplishments. When a woman is successful in something she has done, enjoy the
accomplishment as if it was your own and share the excitement with her. She put a lot of hard work into this and
wants you to share her success. Never feel jealous because it was not your success. You should praise her, boost her
ego and be proud of her.
She is your equal. Women and men individually and collectively have their strengths and weaknesses. That
being said, women want men to view them as equals with all the pluses and minuses that go with it. Her opinions
are important to her and she wants to share her views with you. Take this seriously. She is your partner and
because she cares about you and the relationship, she will present a balanced opinion. She will also teach you
things you didn't know.
Finally, never forget to say you're sorry for what you have done wrong, nor important dates to celebrate, never
be jealous because that will kill a relationship, and always tell her you love her, again, and again and give her lots
of hugs. Remember, she has helped to make you the man you are today. So is she asking too much if she wants you to
understand her better?
Well there you have it, or most of it. Everyone can learn, it's only a question of how much you want to learn, care
about the woman you are with, or the man you should be and for both of you to have a happy, loving and productive
life without having to ask, “What does a woman want”? Or for your partner to ask herself, "why did I choose
him"?
Fina Bella would like to acknowledge and thank women for contributing their time, insight and knowledge in
making this document possible. You are all Fina Bella's.
To the women that the owner of Fina Bella has known –Some of you have been employees, co-workers, neighbors,
family members, friends, lovers, girlfriends, one was a wife, and some have been in social situations. Thank you one
and all for taking the time and having the patience to answer my many questions that I posed to you over the years.
None of us knew at the time what that information would lead to, except for me to better understand women. Well
now we do...... it was one of the important elements that helped lead to creating The Fina Bella Group. I apologize,
there is not enough space on this page to list you individually, but in my opinion, you are all beautiful, smart,
intuitive and I love everyone of you. “ Vive La Difference”
Special thanks to:
Lydia Simone Maria van Berkom - The lady with the great smile, sexy eyes and dimples, who got me to edit and
condense this document, because I tend to be too wordy, who is so pleasant, kind and with a sense of humor that
makes everyone's life so much brighter at Café OH! LA LA. Lydia, I know you have your dreams focused on where
you want to be in the near future. Lydia, I know you will succeed in your project because you have the talent,
tenacity and the intelligence to make it happen. …........Go Girl !!!!
Shannon Nikiel – Ah, my smart friend Shannon, who graciously shared personal information about her private life
with me, reviewed some of what I had written and gave me her comments. Shan, you are a pretty lady with
beautiful eyes, a mischievous smile, a contagious laugh and you are just so naturally funny that you always break
me up. As much as I try to cover it Shan, you know that I think you're a fox.
All Rights Reserved 2008
The Fina Bella Group
href="http://www.linkreferral.com/adwel.pl?oldrefid=205747">
www.finabella.net (Main site)
www.finabella.ca (The Fina Bella Coalition Against Domestic Violence)
http://www.facebook.com/fina.bella
The Fina Bella Group
www.finabella.ca (The Fina Bella Coalition Against Domestic Violence)
http://www.facebook.com/fina.bella
The Fina Bella Group
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"I can't help it . . . that's
what we all say when we
don't want to exert
ourselves".
— Eva Lathbury
what we all say when we
don't want to exert
ourselves".
— Eva Lathbury